Becoming a Power Couple in Relationship

Becoming a Power Couple in Relationship

This Blog Post and video is about an approach to healing relationship, whether it’s a long-established relationship or a new one.

It’s in two parts:

Part 1 describes a useful approach to handling and healing our problem love scripts in relationship whether its long established or brand new

Video Part 1:

Part 2 gives you some fascinating examples of some specimen examples of insights from both the vastness of Vedic Astrology and also Psychodynamic Western Astrology as to how the insights from these two combined can be such a useful guide helping is to develop the needed identification of the challenges to love and relationship for ourself and our partner.

Video Part 2:

Part 1: An Approach to Healing Our Relationship Negative Scripts

The approach came to me from a book I heard about, by chance, from someone on one of my Sacred West of Ireland Tours. I’d not heard of the book or the author before, but reading the book left me seeing a vivid image of a process whereby a couple can lovingly agree to identify and share and heal their negative behaviour patterns: how they can identify the patterns which harm their relationship, and then work then lovingly work together to heal these patterns.

OK, so, the book I heard about by chance is by an English Mythologist and Storyteller called Martin Shaw and its title is: ‘Courting The Wild Twin’.

And the key dramatic image I was left with from the book – an image that I have tested out in the year since with a number of individuals and couples, is that a couple  can, in a sense, see themselves like two snakes lying next to each other, and the key fact to be aware of here is that:

Snakes shed their skins.

Snakes shed skin after skin – and so in a sense, they are ‘reborn’.

I’m mentioning this useful image because it can become the basis of a process – a process for lovingly agreeing to shed our negative love scripts: shedding negative skin after negative skin.

Shedding our negative scripts in loving agreement can be such a useful relationship healing approach.

OK, so what this means in practice, is that a couple can agree with each other to lovingly each recognize the nature of their particular individual negative behaviour scripts – the ones which harm their loving relationship – and then they can then mutually and lovingly agree to shed negative skin after negative skin.

So, after an upset, they can follow their prior agreement and recognize the truth of the nature of each negative script – and commit to healing it.

So the whole process is like the two snakes lying next to each other shedding negative skin after negative skin, where each skin that is shed on one of the negative scripts – one of the negative patterns that harms the love between us.

Negative skin after negative skin is shed. So the time eventually comes when the two people are like two quite vulnerable skinless snakes – creatures lying there next to each other.

And then the Reward to the process arises: the point is, from that process of shedding negative script after negative script, they can then arise – together.

From that process they now have the potential to arise in love – as a Power Couple.

It’s not easy. There will be incidents along the way! – but it’s so worth it.

I am sharing this in particular because I have recently created a new Dating Site for those on a Spiritual Pathway to find love. The website is called LoveStarDating, and a special feature of the site is that it is supported by eight Astrologers and Healers whom people can avail themselves of their services if they feel that’s helpful.

I am an Astrologer and Shamanic Healer. My wife Maggie Pashley offers so many Healing Modalities online. Janell Renshaw specializes in Lesbian Relationships Astrology. Lia Cruse specializes in Gay Men love astrology. Claire Louise Knifton offers so often needed Ancestral Healing and healing Transcendance Dance. Ann Gildart is a Pendulum Dowser and Psychic answering your key questions. Kat Redwolf offers powerful wonderful Shamanic Healings. Dr Elizabeth Hendrick’s Psychic Readings are a wonderful must-have!

Part 2: Some Fascinating Examples of Love Scripts declaration from both Vedic Astrology and Psychodynamic Western Astrology:

So, having told you about the useful process you can consider truing out, if you feel it would help your relationship whether long-established or new, I now also want to share with you just a few examples of the insights I offer from both Vedic and also Western Psychodynamic Astrology – such useful insights that can so help us open our eyes and identify and see the nature of and truths of: our negative scripts for love.  

As I said, I always combine the two – Vedic plus Western Astrology – in my individual Astrology Readings and in my couples Astrology Readings.

So here’s just the tiniest sample of a very few of the insights offered by both Vedic and also Western Psychodynamic Astrology.

Here’s just a few of these as an example, but these insights can truly can help us open our eyes and see the nature of our negative love scripts – and thus we can lovingly plan and agree to heal these.  

So let’s just mention a few examples:

A few Examples from Vedic Astrology first:


The Nakshatras:

I think the first boon I would mention are the Nakshatras of Vedic Astrology. The Nakshatras are the wonderful 27-sign Lunar Zodiac of Vedic Astrology, where each Nakshatra so clearly defines the person’s love scripts, their behaviour scripts in love relationship.

In a Reading, I look first at the Nakshatra occupied by the Moon, the Ascendant and the Sun – and these can tell so much instantly as to what some of the person’s key love scripts are – insights that can be so useful for setting off on the healing path together.

For example, a key insight I could mention here is that someone with an Ashlesha Nakshatra emphasis has the potential to develop a lot of knowledge and spiritual awareness, but their tendance to be too critical would have to be healed. It would have to be healed if love is to stand a chance in the long run.

As a second Nakshatra example, Ardra Nakshatra people can tend to be ruthlessly ‘my way or the highway’ and because it’s in the sign of Gemini, they can love to denounce. The survival of their love relationship will depend on the recognition and healing of this facet.


Nakshatra Power Animals:

Each Nakshatra has a ‘Power Animal’ or ‘yoni’. Let’s take a couple of very ‘scratching the surface’ examples:

Dhanistha Nakshatra’s power animal is the Lioness and it’s ruled by Mars.

Bharani Nakshatra’s power animal is the Bull Elephant and it’s ruled by Venus.

Obviously it is crucial to know your Nakshatras, and if you’re getting together with a Martian Lioness or a Venusian Bull Elephant, it’s so helpful to know this and to work on the issues that will come up so as to heal the negative aspects.

I am being positive here. The wonderful Vedic Astrology insights can so help a couple shed the negative characteristics. They can enter on the journey of healing with so much more awareness.

If Chitra Nakshatra gets together with Vishakha Nakshatra, well this is the union of the Female Tiger with the Male Tiger. There will be bonding – but claws could fly!


Your Dara Karaka:

A person’s Dara Karaka or ‘love indicator’ is another example from the wonders Vedic Astrology can offer. The Darakaraka states the sort of person you are needing and looking for in love.

So, to cite a brief example, if Sun is your Darakaraka, this doubtless indicates that your own sense of self is weak, and therefore you feel you need a strong partner.

But the inbuilt trickster side here in this situation is that you may find your beloved Sun partner’s persona just too bossy or brutal, and of course this sets in a life time of intermittent violent quarrelling scripts.

Indeed, in this last example: the ‘snakes shedding their skins’ model that I mentioned above can be so valuable. The two of you can make sure to agree that the regular quarrel script does not lead to the ditching of all the good things that the relationship offers.

And on the matter of quarrels, if this is a pattern, the couple needs to agree that a halt must be called. A key word calls for a halt and then a cool off period.

And then all the love can have a bit of time to re-assert!


Impediments to Love:

Another key gift from Vedic Astrology is the identification of what are often known as ‘Impediments to Love’.

The Saturn Venus combination and the Saturn Mars combination, are the chief ones of these, and to have that statement offered to you  in a Reading can be so helpful for setting up awareness. See my recent videos and blogs on these two ‘blocks to love’

These ‘impediments to love’ can so usefully lend themselves to the ‘snakes shedding their negative skins’ model where the ‘impediment to love’ in the destiny of one (or both) of the partners, becomes one of the skins that have to be lovingly shed, in loving agreement between the two.

Now, A Couple of Western Astrology Examples:

So. Note that the above are just four examples from 1000 possible from Vedic Relationships astrology.

But let’s turn now to Psychodynamic Western Astrology for a tiny selection of the possible total: I offer you a few more key needed examples:


Chart Aspect Shape Astrology:

Chart aspect shape analysis can be so helpful in guiding a couple to a path of needed ‘skin shedding’.

For example, there is one chart aspect shape that is called The Cradle, and it can be so helpful to need and work with that one of the two persons is endless seeking cradling, especially if that chart aspect shape is upside down in their birth chart and thus will perpetually tip them out of the cradle they crave.

There are many other chart aspect shapes that can be usefully healed by this model, and I’d name the ‘Righteousness Rectangle’ (that can become a ‘Mystic Rectangle’) the ‘Irritation Triangle’, the ‘Irritation Rectangle’, the Shield – and many, many more.

OK, so I’m ending my tiny list of examples with the big two: Chiron and Lilith. Obviously these are great and totally needed gifts from Western Astrology that need to be added to the crucial vastness of Vedic Astrology. Yes, are the outer planets Uranus, Neptune and Pluto need to be added (and usually are).

But in addition also needing to be added for fuller and more accurate declaration are:
Chiron our existential wound


Lilith our shadow and our ‘wild side’.

These two are totally needed if our relationship scripts are to be adequately understood.

For example, Vedic astrology can tell someone they have a ‘really strong Mars in Scorpio’, but know nothing of the fact that they have Chiron conjunct that Mars – and so that Mars is not strong at all. It is severely wounded!



Chiron is our Existential Wound, in the healing of which we can become the Healer of others.

All Chiron wounds to our other planet are problems for the expression of love, and fit so well into my ‘two snakes entering into loving agreement to shed negative akin after negative skin to heal their blocks to power loving relationship.

So to take just one specimen example of ‘Chiron conjunct Mars’: this could be the man whose childhood disallowed his masculine energy (for example ‘failed fathering’ and this banished it to the shadow and the unconscious, so he brings denied violence or unconscious hostility to the relationship and has to build from scratch his masculine nature.

My ‘snakes casting their negative skins in mutual agreement for healing’ is so good to use, here.



It’s so crucial to know if Lilith is aspecting your Venus or Mars (and indeed any other planet).

I gave, above, a tiny example of a wound to a man in my Chiron section. So, now, so let’s take a tiny very partial look at an example of a wound to a woman in relationship: a woman with Lilith conjunct Moon.

Lilith is our Shadow Side – and it’s crucial to see what is buried there; what negatives? Negatives we don’t know of but these are negatives that drive our choices and actions and thoughts.

But also stuffed down into our shadow, of course is our buried power that was not allowed! Buried Power that will transform our lives if we can identify it and liberate it.

And indeed, it is absolutely crucial to note that Lilith is also our buried Wild Side.

It is so crucial for each person to know about their Lilith.

Just one of the facets of Lilith conjunct Moon is that the woman might not have had nurturing, true mothering, and indeed that the woman might have had parenting that stuffed her Wild Side into the shadow and didn’t allow it!

This was because a nice quiet girl was wanted, whereas we ALL need to know what our Wild Side is, so that we can be fully expressive of the fullness of us, and so that we can hone it and ensure that its negative features are lovingly identified and not acted out in unacknowledged feral and destructive ways when we ‘take a walk on the wild side’ and indeed fully embody the creative and assertive potential of the True Me.


Lilith Chiron and the wonderful Varga (Divisional) Charts of Vedic Astrology:

And, lastly on the note of the crucial need for each of us to identify, understand and heal and express our Lilith and Chiron destinies, I do want to say that, as an Astrologer given readings and teaching Courses, I actually extend the identification of your Lilith and Chiron scripts into the Varga Charts.

The Varga Charts are the Divisional Charts of Vedic Astrology – each of which say something quite uniquely special and wonderful about a particular area of your life.

And I must say that examining your Lilith and Chiron, and the Lilith and Chiron affected planets in your birth chart and in your Varga charts gives UTTERLY wow immensity of extra insight and awareness and vision for needed key directions of Healing of yourself AND your Relationship. Get a Reading!

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Saturn Conjunct Venus the No. 1 Block to Love – Pt 3 Deeper Methods of Interpretation

This is part 3 of my presentation on the meaning and healing of Saturn conjunct Venus in the birth chart. It dips into the deeper and more powerful methods of interpretation that are available, and as such I can use for you when I give you a Reading.

Watch the video:

The first topic to mention is:

The Saturn Venus conjunction in the Houses of your birth chart quick guide:

These are just a quick presentation of ‘one size fits all’ buzz words, but they may be useful to you:

For a fuller meaning of the nature/life area meaning of each House in your birth chart, please see my Starwheel Astrology Interpretation page on this:

Saturn Venus in First House:

The first House is psychical body, sense of self, personality.

With Saturn conjunct Venus here, early years unhappy. controls others, Selfish. Might stuff things into the unconscious and the shadow thus have a lack of con­science. Frustrated. Depressed. Isolated.

Without Saturn, Venus in 1st House will express charm, love and affection.

Saturn Venus in 2nd House: Second House is family roots, value issues arising therefore, speech issues arising from that. Mouth issues.

With Venus Saturn conjunction: Wound to value from cold unhappy childhood resulting in a wound to being able to keep money or express yourself properly through speech.

Saturn Venus in 3rd House:

The third house is about siblings, communications and creativity. Short journeys.
Sexuality in terms of the physical sexual act: copulation. Venus here will want positive relationships with siblings, and be quite sexually orientated.

With Venus Saturn conjunction: Blocks and suffering from siblings, blocks to taking creative action. Communications are overly structured. Every action/expression requires extremes of effort.

Saturn Venus in 4th House:

The 4th House is about Home, Mother and roots.

When Saturn is with Venus here: Slow and blocked emotional growth, blocked expression. distressed, joyless, fearful family relationships. Karmic blocks from ancestry/family tree.

Saturn Venus in 5th House:

The 5th House is about Children, Romance, Creativity. PurvaPunya = Past Life Merit.

When Saturn is with Venus here: Block to love and romance. Delays and distance in romance, restric­tions with children issues. lack of fun.

Saturn Venus in 6th House:

The 6th House is about Health, employment, service, enemies, healing.

6th House can support health if it’s not afflicted. Venus here is good for employment. The person can find their partner in their place of employment.

When Saturn is with Venus here: Inflexible, stuck, gets into excessive microscopic detail, problems with employees, poor self-promotion. Enemies.

Note: Venus is weak in Virgo and 6th House (Maraka karaka Sthana) = a challenging place for Venus.

But 6th house is an Upachaya House, allowing you to overcome these problems over time.

Saturn Venus in 7th House:

The 7th House is the significator of a person who puts a special emphasis on being in love, passion and romance. They can find relationship, but also the special emphasis can prevent relationship because they put an extra dose of energy on the idea of passion.

But Saturn in 7th House is terrible for marriage until we heal it. It is good for commitment, but this person can commit for years to the wrong person – and they will often attract the wrong person in the first place. Controlled partnerships. Unloving sex.

Saturn Venus in 8th House:

The 8th House is about money through partnership, death and rebirth, transformation. Venus is transformed in the 8th house. Metamorphosis through sexuality. But also, gut-wrenching transformation. Relationships become more complicated. The person has to process a lot psychologically in order to make a relationship work. But the 8th House can allow the person to have a breakthrough in relationship. They will go through relationship problems, but they can work them out.

They love to have a powerful experience in relationship. They want intensity of experience.

Here Venus becomes the vehicle for a process of transformation.

Saturn conjunct Venus here creates the shy frustrated loner, but with great potential for spiritual, occult and healer growth.

Saturn Venus in 9th House:

The 9th House is about spiritual path, higher education, teachers and father.

Venus supports and promotes all of those things. Maybe the spouse is found at University or a spiritual group, or while travelling.

Saturn conjunct Venus here creates restriction, delays, bad effect from authoritarian figures in the life.

Saturn Venus in 10th House:

The 10th House is about career related to hard work.

But with Saturn conjunct Venus here, the career nature destroys chance of creativity or art. Job in an area that is servile and labouring, misfit, drops out of career or education. doesn’t build up career through lack of self-value.

Saturn Venus in 11th House:

The 11th House is the House of structured gains, also friends and community.

But with Saturn conjunct Venus here there will be trouble with children issues (Saturn is opposition 5th House of children).

Saturn Venus in 12th House:

The 12th House is where we go beyond our usual world. This can be into foreign parts, into institutions, spending money or above all Moksha or spiritual realisation. Someone with Saturn in 12th House will work in institutions or abroad.

With Saturn conjunct Venus here, they could experience a loss of liberty of expression. They could be ineffectual.

A second key interpretation topic to very briefly mention is:

Venus in Yogas in Vedic Astrology:

When the planet Venus is placed in Taurus, Libra, or Pisces and in one of the angular (Kendra) houses: 1st, 4th, 7th or 10th house from ascendant then Malavya Yoga is formed.

Venus is the lord of Taurus and Libra zodiac signs and is exalted in the Pisces zodiac sign. This yoga brings: good looking, artistic, intelligent, famous, but the strength of yoga will depend upon the strength of Venus and the influences of other planets over Venus. The yoga has a very strong impact on the life.

Malavya Yoga can show huge talent coming from the past, like the little child who is a famous accomplished singer or musician.

But note that the presence of Saturn affecting this yoga will greatly reduce the Venusian manifestation.

A third key interpretation topic to very briefly mention is:

Venus in Rashi Avasthas in Vedic Astrology:

Rashi Avasthas is a wonderful Vedic system of deciphering fro our birth chart how our planets will treat each other. In order to share what the Saturn – Vensu conjunction can mean, I briefly share some buzz words so we can better understand how Saturn and Venus will treat each other.

Firstly chart analysis can reveal that we embody a situation in this incarnation where Saturn is  Shaming Venus. Saturn shaming Venus makes us choose a path that is less fulfilling and the reason for this is because at root we simply don’t feel we are DESERVING of fulfillment. Saturn – Venus creates a lack of self-respect. It fills us with shame. We do not feel worthy – and so lack of fulfillment will be bitterly and impotently felt.

Second let’s look at the situation where the Saturn Venus conjunction creates a situation of Saturn Starving Venus. Saturn causes Venus to lack the self-worth necessary to maintain a fair relationship. We will either demand more than is deserved within relationship, OR we may feel so unworthy that we keep crawling to our loved one and so may lose our own life and pay too high a price within the relationship.

Rashi Avasthas can describe two possible relationship situations for how Saturn and Venus will work together in your life (until you bring spiritual healing to the horrible situation).

Either Saturn can boost Venus and Venus can boost Saturn, in which case the relationship is a matter of appreciating that the simple things in life are the bedrock and core that makes for loving satisfying caring relationship.

But the second possibility is that Venus can work to boost and boost and boost Saturn – but Venus gets nothing in return. Saturn just takes and takes and takes from Venus – and in the wort case scenario, you can even feel like committing suicide.

A fourth key interpretation topic to very briefly mention is:

Dashas in Vedic Astrology:

The Dashas are the wonderful Predictive periods of Vedic Astrology. They unfold from birth based on the position of the Moon at the moment of birth. Each Dasha has sub-period and also sub-sub-periods.

A Venus Dasha will highlight the role of the planet Venus in the person’s life for the duration of his or her Venus dasha.

If Saturn is conjunct Venus in the person’s natal chart, this will massively make more difficult the expression of Venus – but ideally this experience could make the person more open to spiritual growth about Venus issues of love (and money, art, etc).

A fifth key interpretation topic to very briefly mention is:

Venus in the Nakshatras

The Nakshatras are a supreme expression of our emotionally based consciousness. They offer multifaceted wonders of interpretation to us for our nature and our life path, all with the purpose of raising our spiritual awareness for the maximation of the nakshatras spiritual qualities and limiting its negative expressions in our consciousness and in our behaviours and love scripts.

Venus rules three Nakshatras
Bharani (in Aries/Taurus) whose Deva ruler is Yama the God of Death. Symbol is the vagina/womb and is therefore also about birth. It has a female sexual energy quality.
PurvaPhalguni (in Leo) whose symbol is the conjugal bed, and whose energy is about creativity. Fertility.

PurvaAshadha (in Sagittarius), ruler Apas the God of water. Venus is karaka for water.

Nakshatra Padas: 

Each Nakshatra is divided for analysis purposes into four padas.Watch out especially if Venus is in your chart in a Virgo pada in one of the Nakshatras.

This will harm Venus expression greatly, because Virgo is the Debilitation sign for Venus.

See the Blog Post at:

To get a Reading from me about you and relationships, go to:

Or to get a Reading from me about your wider astrology, go to my page on LoveStarDating and book your Reading:

Also, subscribe to our BLOG to get our interesting articles on love relationships:

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